To live is the rarest thing in this world. Most people exist, that is all.
It’s been a while since I posted. Again. Not that being busy is an excuse, I love writing my blog and you should always make time for things that you love, but I’ve had a very busy few months. If you’re new to the blog, I’m currently on a year long internship in London. Now I love London. I really do. But I did find it pretty hard to settle in at first. In fact, I’m on my 5th month here and I would only reaaaaaally say I’ve been totally happy and comfortable here for the past 3 weeks or so. Believe me, it took a while. But that’s okay. It does take a while to get settled in things. I remember feeling this way when I started Uni and it was definitely a much less intimidating situation.
I’d been giving myself a bit of a hard time about not making the most of my time here. I kept thinking I had to be doing something incredible and telling myself ‘you don’t want to look back on this year and think you did nothing’. I felt like every single weekend I had to be trekking to some other instagrammable area, having brunch in a super cool place and then coming home to go out or something like that. Very quickly I realised that 1. I do not have the energy and 2. I do not have the money. After that I kind of got myself in a whole of not really doing much at the weekends, at most going out on a Saturday night and then spending all day Sunday feeling hungover and emosh. Now, I’m not saying I don’t enjoy a night out, because I do, but when all you do is work then drink then be hungover it gets a little old.
Being so far away from nearly all my friends and family has been tough as well. I wouldn’t say I’m someone who gets terribly homesick but waking up on a Thursday morning and seeing hundreds of snapchats and instagrams of all you friends together out on the student night on a Wednesday can make you feel a little lonely. I am so lucky to have my two flatmates, Ellen and Zoe, as well as the friends I’ve made on my team and the other interns, but going from having such a wide group of friends to being out here by myself has been quite a difficult adjustment. Sometimes you end up thinking that everyone’s forgotten about you, when in reality no one has and they’re all still there – you just need to reach out to them.
I think it took a recent visit from some of my best friends at Uni to help me get back in my stride and to fall back in love with London. Playing hostess to people who don’t live here kind of makes you feel like this isn’t now ‘just’ your hometown but its LONDON. I have ALWAYS wanted to live here and it’s so so cool. It was nice to see London again from someone else’s eyes. The reality is, I’m living my dream. 15 year old me would think 19 year old me is pretty darn cool. I need to remember that.
This has been quite a rambly life update but I hope it’s somewhat an enjoyable read! Also, pleeeaseee take a look at my instagram because I’m trying really hard with it just now! http://instagram/catbellx I also promise I’m going to try harder with this blog because I honestly do love it. Hopefully speak again soon!
Also if anyone is interested, my jacket is Collusion at ASOS and my trousers are ASOS Design x